I just wanted to take some time to say thanks for giving each of your companies relatively ambiguous government-sounding names.  With words like “Federal” and “United”, some people might think that you are actually related to the government.  And lets face it… You two are way better at delivering shit than I am.

I mean United Parcel Service?!  That’s a stroke of genius.  All you did was take out the S in ‘USPS’.  So now whenever you do something great, I get props from people that don’t know any better.  And the two of you with your “overnight shipping”.  Fuck!  Why didn’t I think of that?

Well take care and keep up the good work.  And don’t forget to pick up some stamps later.  You may need them if you decide to mail something.  Like a letter.  Or your neighborhood watch report.

-Govt.